The most wonderful time of the year can sometimes feel like anything but, when work, family, buying gifts, travel, and getting ready for the holidays and end-of-year season collide. Women, and women of color especially, feel this burden uniquely as they’re expected to power through at work and be the one to uphold family traditions and make this time of year ‘special.’
But how can women of color still prioritize themselves, rest, and tap into what brings them the most joy now?
White Supremacy Culture Doesn’t Rest, But You Can
That sense of urgency that permeates professional working spaces doesn’t care that we’re weeks away from a new year or that you’re hosting the family Christmas dinner this year and could use some extra time to get your house—and yourself—in order. But as best you can, resist.
Use up the last of your PTO, especially if you’ll lose it before the year ends. If you’re a manager, make the move of pausing non-urgent matters until the new year when your team will likely have more capacity and motivation. These actions may feel countercultural in a system that prioritizes productivity over people, but they’re crucial for protecting your energy.
When we work in spaces and within a world that thrives on White Supremacy Culture (WSC), it’s easy to internalize those practices and beliefs in a way that makes you hard on yourself. Constantly striving to outdo yourself and prove your worth to a job that may not see yours is a setup for burnout and chronic stress. Do yourself—and your mind, body, and spirit—a favor and rest.
Resting is a form of resistance. It’s a declaration that you deserve joy and peace, even in a world that often demands otherwise. Whether that’s closing your laptop at 5:00 PM sharp or carving out a quiet morning for yourself before the family chaos begins, make rest non-negotiable.
Release the Need for Perfectionism and Performance
Olivia Pope wasn’t the only woman of color to believe in the need to be ‘twice as good.’ That internalized pressure to consistently excel stems from a world that has historically undervalued women of color’s contributions while simultaneously holding them to higher standards. But that drive to constantly improve and excel is keeping many women of color in a state of chronic stress and even leading to illness.
This holiday season, take the pressure off yourself. Challenge the voice that tells you everything has to be perfect—from the family dinner to your year-end work presentation—and replace it with one that prioritizes good enough over flawless. The pursuit of perfection often comes at the expense of your mental and physical health. Letting go of that pursuit allows you to focus on what truly matters: connection, joy, and your well-being.
Give yourself the grace you extend to everyone else. If something goes wrong—the pie burns, the gifts arrive late, the family argument flares up—know that it’s okay. Life is messy, and so are the holidays. Choose to embrace the imperfections rather than being consumed by them.
Eldest (and Only) Daughters of Color, I See You
If you’re the oldest or only daughter of color in your family, you’re likely pulling in (unpaid) overtime now as your family’s project manager, travel agent, therapist, and more. These roles often come with a heavy emotional and physical toll, especially during the holiday season when expectations are at an all-time high.
But in a time of year where the demands are piling up for you both professionally and personally, making space for your own self-care and prioritizing your needs first is not only a nice-to-have; it’s imperative for your well-being.
Set boundaries and stick to them. It’s okay to say no to tasks, events, or traditions that drain you. You are not obligated to meet every request or attend every gathering. Your presence is valuable, but so is your peace.
Finally, carve out moments of joy just for you. Whether that’s taking a walk, curling up with your favorite book, or treating yourself to a spa day, these small acts of self-care are a powerful reminder that your needs matter.
Create Space for Joy
Amid the chaos, don’t forget to lean into the moments that bring you joy. Whether it’s reconnecting with friends, indulging in your favorite holiday traditions, or simply enjoying quiet moments of reflection, prioritize what fills your cup.
The end of the year is not just about closing out tasks or meeting expectations. It’s also an opportunity to reflect on what you’ve accomplished, celebrate your resilience, and set intentions for the year ahead. Centering yourself during this time isn’t selfish—it’s an act of self-preservation and empowerment.
Don’t let the holiday stress get to you! Schedule a consultation with ShiftED Consulting today to shift your experience and start your journey toward a more balanced, fulfilling life.